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True Leaders: For Them, Not Just For Self



In the world of leadership, titles and positions often take center stage. However, true influence, the kind that inspires and motivates others, stems from a far deeper wellspring: genuine care and concern for the people you lead.


Effective leaders understand that their own success is intricately linked to the success of their team. They operate not from a place of self-interest, but from a commitment to being "for them" – their team members.


The Relational Impact tool captures this philosophy. It's a stark reminder that leadership is a journey of service, where your primary focus is on empowering, uplifting, and inspiring those around you. By prioritizing the needs and aspirations of your team, you cultivate trust, loyalty, and a shared sense of purpose.


Here's why leading "for them" is the key to unlocking true potential:


  • People Follow People: When your team members believe you genuinely care about their growth and well-being, they're far more likely to invest their full effort and go the extra mile. They see you not just as a leader, but as a guide and a supporter on their own journeys.

  • Trust and Loyalty: Selfless service fosters trust and loyalty. When your team sees that you're invested in their success, they're more likely to reciprocate that loyalty and dedication. This creates a strong foundation for a collaborative and high-performing team.

  • Shared Purpose: By focusing on the collective good, you create a shared sense of purpose that transcends individual goals. Your team members become united in working towards a common vision, fostering a sense of camaraderie and motivation.


Shifting the Focus: From Self to Service

The traditional leadership model often emphasizes self-promotion and individual achievement. But in today's dynamic and collaborative world, this approach falls short. True leaders understand that their role is to elevate others, not themselves. Here's how to make the shift:


  • Focus on Team Development: Invest in your team's growth by providing opportunities for learning, development, and skill-building. Celebrate their achievements and milestones, both big and small.

  • Empowerment, Not Micromanagement: Trust your team members to take ownership of their tasks and projects. Provide guidance and support, but avoid micromanaging. This fosters a sense of autonomy and responsibility.

  • Open Communication: Create a culture of open communication where team members feel comfortable sharing ideas, concerns, and feedback. This fosters trust and allows you to address challenges proactively.  

  • Lead by Example: Your actions speak louder than words. Be the embodiment of the values and behaviors you expect from your team. Demonstrate a commitment to service, integrity, and continuous learning.


Start with Felt Needs

Additionally, being “for them” starts with understanding their felt needs rather than forcing your own agenda and pushing for your own preferred solutions. Leadership isn't just about directing a team towards a goal; it's about understanding and responding to the underlying needs of your team members. This is where the rubber meets the road when it comes to building trust, loyalty, and a high-performing culture.


Often, leaders are tempted to jump straight into solution mode. While problem-solving is crucial, it's equally important to delve deeper into the root causes—the felt needs of your team. These are the underlying desires, frustrations, or challenges that drive their behavior and motivation.


Understanding Felt Needs

To truly connect with your team, you must first understand what they're experiencing. Ask open-ended questions, actively listen, and observe their behavior. Some common felt needs include:


  • Recognition: Feeling valued and appreciated for their contributions.

  • Growth: A desire for professional development and advancement.

  • Autonomy: The need for independence and control over their work.

  • Connection: A sense of belonging and support from colleagues.

  • Challenge: The desire to be engaged in meaningful and stimulating work.


Bridging the Gap Between Needs and Solutions

Once you've identified the felt needs of your team, you can then develop solutions that directly address those needs. For example:


  • If your team feels a lack of recognition, implement a peer-to-peer recognition program.

  • If they desire growth opportunities, offer mentorship, training, or career development plans.

  • If they crave autonomy, delegate tasks and empower them to make decisions.

  • If they seek connection, foster a collaborative environment through team-building activities or social events.

  • If they yearn for challenge, assign them projects that push their limits and require problem-solving.


By focusing on your team's felt needs, you create a more human-centered approach to leadership. This approach builds trust, fosters loyalty, and ultimately drives better results. It's about moving beyond simply managing tasks and towards inspiring and empowering your team to reach their full potential.


Relationships Before Opportunity

Focusing on felt needs is also a cornerstone of building strong, lasting relationships. When we immediately jump to solutions, we often prioritize our own agendas or perspectives. This can create a sense of detachment and disconnection. When people feel heard and understood, they are more receptive to collaboration and are more likely to support your ideas. In essence, investing in understanding felt needs is an investment in building stronger, more meaningful relationships, which ultimately leads to greater success and satisfaction for everyone involved.


Remember, the most effective leaders are those who can truly empathize with their team members and translate that understanding into actions that make a positive difference.


By embracing this leadership philosophy of being "for them," you'll not only build a stronger, more successful team, but you'll also create a more positive and fulfilling work environment for everyone involved.


Remember, leadership is a privilege, not a right. It's an opportunity to make a positive impact on the lives of others. By leading with service in mind, you can inspire your team to achieve great things together.

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